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Best Moments of Mamahood

It’s a new year, and I find myself goal-setting for the quarter and the year.  Although I have specific goals for my blog, my practice, and my personal health and fitness, I’m also setting goals (and blocking off precious time) to spend with my family.

When I’m home with my son, I want to be wholly present and focused.  Sure, there’s dishes to wash, an endless pile of laundry to wash or fold, and never ending clean-up of spills and crumbs.  However, I want those times to be less wearisome and more fun for my son and me.

Sometimes I feel like living in America causes me to have a huge sense of urgency about creating a “to-do” list, a 5-year plan, and to “git ‘er done”–so much so that it’s easy, very easy, to forget about truly living and being present in the moment.

Have you ever felt like you’re so wrapped up in getting things planned and worked out for the future that you’re not enjoying the present?

I’ve felt that way often.  Too often.

Yesterday, I was away from home all day long.  I came home just in time to serve oven-baked food to my son for dinner, while my husband rushed out to do our grocery shopping (pantry restocking).  The rest of the evening, it was just my son and me. Dinner. Bath time. Story time. Bed time.

Woosh!

I had 90 minutes with my son before he had to go to bed, and it flew by in an instant.

While I tucked him into bed, he said to me, “Mommy, sit here,” while he patted a spot his mattress next to him.

I sat next to him.  Hugged and kissed him.  I laid my head on his chest and listened to his belly breathing while he relaxed and grasped my hand with his tiny one.

After several moments, I told him I needed to leave his room.

He said, “Mommy go to work.”

Oh! My pierced heart.  He thought I was leaving him at home.

“Oh no, Sweetie.  I just need to leave to wash the dishes,” I replied.  “I’m not leaving the house…I’ll be just outside,” I reassured him.

Once again my son said, “Mommy sit here.”

“Oh, okay, just for another minute” I replied softly.

Again I asked my son if I could leave to wash the dishes.  He said nothing–and, I took that as confirmation.

I stood up to leave, kissed his sweet face several more times, then held the door knob.

My son cried out, “Mommy!  Hand.”

Once again, I sat next to him, and he held my hand for an instant.  Then, he let go as his way of telling me he was okay.  He was ready for me to leave him alone in his room because he knew I wouldn’t be far.

While I spent those 20 minutes with my son in his room, I consciously focused on not thinking about anything else.  There are always thoughts trying to crowd my brain…that incessant to-do list, and the huge desire to relax and have ME-time.  But, I just gazed at my son’s sweet face, and thought about how in a year or so, he wouldn’t want me to hang out with him for so long at bedtime.  This is such a precious and fleeting time, and while my sweet boy wants his Mama by his side, I should cherish every moment.

The dishes can wait.

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4 Responses

  1. My son is king of trying to get us to stay with him at bedtime. My husband and I make a concerted effort everynight (we take turns every other night) to focus on him, and not all that has to be done downstairs while he sleeps.

    As working parents, this too is part of our quality time – and we don’t get enough of it. We also know that someday, hopefully in the distant future, he won’t be asking us to stay and hold his hand, cuddle, read another book. He’ll be wanting his own space.

    Enjoy those fleeting moments!

  2. So true. We have 3 days of the week that are just nuts for us, and on those days, we just let the dishes pile on up. It is much more important to be giving kisses to our baby. The house looks disgusting, but in the long run, it really doesn’t matter.

    • I agree about the state of my home. I’ve never quite felt I’m on top of all the things I need to do since I became a mom, so I try to focus on what’s most important…to maintain sanity and a happy spirit.

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